Valkyries (Will Guide You Home)
by AutobotJena
Summary: They're guiding the fallen warriors to Valhalla. And they've come to take Gabriel. [set before Hammer of the Gods]
1. Chapter 1

**Valkyries (Will Guide You Home)**

_Disclaimer__: I do not own Supernatural or anything associated with it. I also didn't invent Norse mythology. _

There were figures in the snow that was falling down.

Gabriel had actually been in Vermont when the call from Kali came. Mercury was just preparing the Elysian Fields Motel when he was trying to decide whether to go or stay.

His mind kept screaming at him to do the right thing for once.

There were figures in the snow around him, and their silhouettes became clearer every time he tried to look away.

He knew what that meant.

"Screw you," he muttered and shoved his hands in his pockets. The cold usually didn't affect him, and that it could now was just another sign: one that he most certainly would try to ignore.

The snow had turned from snow to white dresses. Women were standing around him.

"Leave me alone."

The woman in front of him smiled at his words. She was beautiful, hauntingly so, with white hair that didn't so much fall over her shoulders as flow free from gravity around her head. Her face was pale, if not translucent, but her features were those of a warrior: she had a determined look to her face, and her jaw was set in a way that indicated definitiveness.

"Why fight us now?"

Their voices weren't human. He'd heard them before, several millennia ago, hiding as the Trickster at Odin's court.

Those were the Valkyries, Odin's most loyal servants. Graceful, gorgeous and fierce. Every warrior's dream of a woman, and yet nothing but doom for those who decided to commit to them.

"I can't leave now," he said weakly, and a sad smile appeared on the lips of the Valkyrie in front of him. She patted his cheek with a hand that was colder than ice on a lake.

"You asked us," she reminded him, "All those years ago you asked us what it would be like."

He wasn't crying, not much. The tears were freezing on his face anyway. "I asked you why they always followed you. The warriors, those who are brave enough to be chosen by you."

"And we said _have patience_." Her smile felt like a knife in his stomach, twisting and turning with the knowledge that there was no escape from this. You couldn't outrun fate.

The snow was coming down so heavily now that he could barely see his own feet, but the Valkyrie before him was still clear as day, and so were her sisters around them. The whiteness seemed to drain all colour from the world.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Gabriel muttered and tried a playful sigh, but choked on it. This wasn't funny anymore, not even for him. He couldn't find it in his heart to laugh about this.

"I remember the day," the Valkyrie said with a voice as clear and crisp as the frozen ground on a winter's day. "On the day you and Odin exchanged blood, he took you to Valhalla. He showed you the glorious hall with its five hundred and forty gates, the golden roof made out of shields and javelins. And he told you the story of how the world would come to an end, and how all those brave warriors assembled in Valhalla would rise to fight again. For the last time."

He'd felt nauseous that day, he remembered, until a girl in white had stepped up to him, a knowing smile on her face.

"They're happy," she'd said, and Gabriel had scoffed. "How would you know? You're not like them, and neither am I."

The Valkyrie had bowed her head, and Gabriel had known it had been to hide an amused smile on her face. Odin's face was stern, it didn't betray anything.

"We lead them home," she had answered simply. Gabriel hadn't believed her. To him, it was just another decision that some higher power took for mortals. He had been sick of higher powers then, and he still was. It had become Loki's trademark that he cared more about mortals than the quarrels the gods had with another.

"I still won't follow you," he replied to the Valkyrie in front of him. He had never thought it would come this far, but his decision was clear now.

"You're right," the Valkyrie said, "Your cause _is_ worth dying for."

The feeling of a knife being twisted in his stomach flared up again and he winced. "I never said I'd _die_ for them."

"But you were thinking about it." The wind around them picked up on intensity. Gabriel shivered, but the Valkyrie didn't seem the least affected by the cold. "You were thinking that if we couldn't take you, we would take them."

"Don't you dare."

He had been around pagans for a long time now: he'd seen Kali's unfathomable power, he'd seen everything every pantheon on earth and beyond had to offer. And he still couldn't do anything against the fact that his time was up now.

Time. That was what had fascinated him about Kali. She was time, the sheer destructive force of patience, of waiting for an end that would most certainly come.

Except now that the end was here, he didn't want it anymore. He'd craved it, courted it, even tried to bring it about. And now he wanted more time.

"We won't hurt them," the Valkyrie promised, "We won't hurt _you_."

Gabriel tried to swallow but couldn't. His voice was hoarse when he spoke up. "When we first met, I asked you why any of them would follow you. I told you that every man I'd seen on the battlefield had people that were worth dying for, families he would probably never see again because the rest of the lot is damned to Hel for all you care. So why would they give up their families, was what I said. For a bit of mead and merrymaking before the end comes around? I couldn't believe it."

The Valkyrie smiled, except it didn't look like a smile. It looked like the patch of ice on a lake that you step on before the ground caves in under your feet.

"You've found someone to care for, haven't you?"

He couldn't answer; the face of _that_ giant man suddenly all-too-clear in his mind. He would be damned, but all he could really think of was that Lucifer didn't really deserve to take that gorgeous a body out for a joyride. Trying to be playful he shrugged and blamed it on his time with the pagans that he had become this possessive with what he considered his.

The Valkyrie nodded. "I thought so."

When Gabriel didn't respond, the wind softened and the Valkyrie stepped closer. "You never really got away from your family, you know?" She sighed, and it sounded like the wind in trees. "You tried to be different, but in fact you were just as spiteful in the face of Odin and his court as Lucifer had been in the face of his father or Michael."

"I didn't..."

Gabriel's protest was silenced as the Valkyrie raised a finger. Actually he was afraid – really, properly afraid because it felt as if he'd already lost himself. He was way too earnest and solemn, and he seemed to have run out of witty answers.

"They still call you the Norse Devil."


	2. Chapter 2

**Heed the Final Call**

The next time they came for him, he was just outside of the Elysian Fields Motel. The rain from earlier had died down and instead a cold wind had picked up on intensity. Gabriel was just sort of _standing_ there, torn between doing the right thing and leaving, and ending up doing nothing again. A faint echo in his mind kept repeating that Kali had been ready to kill him.

"You seem desperate."

He froze at the sound of the Valkyrie's voice, then he slowly turned around, arms raised to his sides. "They're probably talking about summoning my crazy-ass brother right now. They wouldn't listen to me!"

He practically shouted at her, but his voice seemed hoarse. The Valkyrie was almost invisible against the dark night sky, but in the split second when he took an angry step forward, he could see her sisters shift around him, ready to attack.

He dropped his arms and lowered his head; defeat pooling up inside him like water in a leaky ship. "I tried, okay?"

The Valkyrie smiled. She knew it was a lie.

"You have yet to face your brother," she said and it didn't sound like a threat, more like a reminder. Gabriel thought he could hear the faint sound of a ticking clock and shivered.

For a split second, the Valkyrie changed – she grew in size, her hair went brown and messy and she wore that smile that would forever remind Gabriel of days long gone, when Sam Winchester had still had a reason to be happy. Then she switched back, and Gabriel almost vomited onto the concrete of the parking lot.

The Valkyrie was still smiling.

"Are you prepared to see him go too?" The temperature dropped suddenly, and everything seemed too sharp and too bright in the angel's eyes. "Another casualty of your brothers' pointless fight?"

She leaned forward, whispered into his ear and her hair brushed against his face like branches covered in ice and snow.

"This is where you choose. You cannot run forever."

Gabriel shivered. He tried to take a step back, but he couldn't move. "That's not how I do things," he replied in a strangled voice.

The Valkyrie shook her head. "No decision can be postponed forever, Loki."

The words hurt less than expected, and suddenly Gabriel began to wonder if he had known that all along. Hadn't he tried to help the Winchesters, to make them see that their fate was inevitable? Hadn't he tried to contribute to this fight with as little effort as possible?

"I can't kill my brother," he said.

"You won't," answered the Valkyrie, and it made Gabriel's stomach sink. He had feared that it would end this way.

It got constantly colder, and the dim light from the motel didn't reach Gabriel.

"Then why do you want me to try?" His anger was still there, but it flickered and was close to dying like a flame in the middle of a storm. He wanted to turn away, but he couldn't look away from the hauntingly beautiful face in front of him, constantly shifting and changing. The Valkyrie's smile seemed patronising now. "You were the one who said that every warrior had someone worth fighting for. Now tell me: do you?"

"Not fair," Gabriel muttered.

"We are not fair," the Valkyrie answered.

Gabriel straightened his back. For someone who claimed to bring justice to the universe, this was hard to accept – there were forces that were above puny concepts of fairness and equality. But at least _he_ was left with a choice.

Had their magic affected him now? A cold wind brushed past his face, and suddenly everything seemed painfully clear. He had always been selfish to a certain extent, and there were people he could not bear living without. After everything he had lost, he would not see Sam Winchester go.

"Fine," he said and crossed his arms. "The bitchy snowman wins. Just don't expect me to be grateful for the enlightenment or anything."

He tried to read the Valkyrie's answer in her face, but she was already gone. From the motel, voices could be heard.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Thanks for the reviews! Cookies for everyone! Ah, and there will be one more chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Supernatural isn't mine, and the title as well as the chapter titles are taken from the song 'Valkyries Will Guide Us Home' by Blind Guardian. You should totally check out their stuff!


	3. Chapter 3

The figures formed from the particles of his disintegrating wings.

They rose from the ashes like a phoenix, and he – though he should be dead, angels didn't get an afterlife – rose with them, free from a physical form, free from grace, and somehow still in existence. It felt like he was floating – was he even feeling at all? – and when he looked around – was he even seeing? – he found himself still in the conference room of the Elysian Fields Motel.

His broken body was lying before him, outlines of his wings scorched into the ground.

The Valkyries shifted and formed a circle, and Gabriel took a step back.

"Why am I here?" he asked, because this couldn't be a good thing, this couldn't be right. He shouldn't exist anymore.

"You're given a choice," they answered him, and now there was no difference between them; they spoke with one voice and moved as one.

"A choice?" Gabriel replied confused. He was trying not to look at the tiny particles of ash that were forming the shadowy figures of the Valkyries, which was hard considering that he also tried not to look at the body on the ground.

He noticed that Lucifer was gone. When he tried to find anger about his brother's betrayal, he couldn't find it in himself. Maybe it was because he had been ready to do the same thing, but some part of him knew it was because…

"You wanted this," the Valkyries finished his thought for him and he flinched, because it summed up the truth more than anything. "You wanted to die so you wouldn't have to choose. But you chose nevertheless."

"Fine, can I go now?" He could feel his composure crumbling, falling away, all the masks he had put on over the years turning to dust. To ash. Was that really what had been waiting for him all that time? A death in a crappy motel, surrounded by the dead bodies of pagans he had once called his family in a desperate attempt to escape from a family that had always haunted him? A death so inglorious for the messenger of God?

"You can, if you wish," the Valkyries answered, "Or you can come with us. You are still a Trickster. You are still Loki. And you were brave in the end. It would be an honour to welcome you back at Odin's court."

"Odin's dead," Gabriel spit out, "My brother killed him, if you hadn't noticed."

The Valkyries actually laughed. "You angels and your funny little concept of nonexistence. Have you never thought about making yourself more than just a pretty thing to be worshipped by mortals?"

"What do you mean?" Gabriel asked.

"You thought about it," the Valkyries answered, voices half-amused but faces unreadable in the dim light of the conference room. "You became a concept so ancient that Christianity couldn't erase it from people's minds." A sigh went through the room. "You can't kill thunder and lightning, you can't kill the sun or the moon or time. That's how the pagans survived when the tables turned. And that's why you're still here."

"I never asked for this," Gabriel replied darkly. Without his grace, it felt like he was just a step away from becoming the empty monster he'd seen when his brother had tried to defend his ideas. By God, he still loved Lucifer, but there was nothing left of the angel he had so admired. Everything he had seen when he had stood face to face with his brother for the first time in millennia had been a grotesque, distorted picture of Lucifer as he'd once been.

"But you never protested, either." The Valkyries simultaneously took a step forward. "So… will you come with us?"

Gabriel thought. He didn't want to say yes, he was afraid and disgusted and torn – angel, trickster, he couldn't tell them apart anymore and it felt like he was losing himself.

"It will pass," one of them said shyly, but he couldn't make out which one. Maybe she had tried to console him, but the fact that she could apparently hear his thoughts freaked him out even more.

He could be Loki again. It would be all too easy, wouldn't it? Continue, acquire a new face, hide some more and let them figure out the apocalypse on their own. It would be so damn easy that he actually couldn't believe it.

And then he remembered.

"Can I see him?" he asked, breathless, and before he could stop himself. The Valkyries smiled as if they'd know it all along.

"Do you wish to?"

Gabriel's mouth was dry – _he didn't even have a mouth anymore_ – but he nodded and croaked out a "Yes".

The scene shifted. They were standing in front of a motel. It was snowing again.

"Is he…?" Gabriel couldn't finish the sentence, but it didn't matter anymore. There was nothing to hide behind now, not even words. He had never felt more vulnerable.

"He is currently sleeping in the second room on the left." The Valkyries pointed to a window that overlooked the parking lot. The Impala was parked directly in front of it. "You can go, if you want to. But do not linger too long; your magic is wearing thin."

As she spoke, Gabriel felt a searing hot pain in his stomach and looked down, even though his physical form was gone. He didn't need to see it, though, he knew that the blade Lucifer had tried to kill him with was still affecting him, and he only had so much time before he would be sucked into the void of nonexistence that was the last stop for every angel.

Unless he chose to go pagan.

"Just give me a moment," he said and turned to the motel. With one thought, he was inside and standing next to the sleeping form of Sam. He could feel the heat radiating from the boy's body and asked himself if he looked like the Valkyries now, cold and made of ice.

So this was what he'd been fighting for.

"I know you can't hear me, Sammy." It was weird talking without a voice. "But I need to say it anyway because…"

He didn't know why it had been so important to him to see Sam again. He should let go, he should let, he should let go. That was what he told himself, but he couldn't.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I suck at goodbyes."

Sam shifted in his sleep, buried his head deeper in the pillow and snored lightly.

"I know what you'd say." Gabriel laughed. At least it felt like laughing –the weightless sensation in his chest that made the vast emptiness of having no family disappear for a few seconds.

"You'd tell me to let go, not to join the pagans. You'd throw my own words right back at me, because you're just as good as giving as you are at taking."

He shivered. He was really cold, and Sam's warmth didn't help. "But you know what? I'm not as brave as I wanted you to think I am. I am a fucking coward."

The snow outside picked up on intensity and he could see the Valkyries clearly now, their bodies almost solid against the dark night sky. The warm motel room seemed further and further away.

"I should go now. There's a train to pagan-land I have to catch." He tried to laugh again, but it got stuck in his throat. Sam's face looked peaceful, the light from outside illuminating his face. In his sleep, he looked so much younger.

For the first time since this whole thing had started, Gabriel could actually see the Valkyries' faces. They weren't shifting anymore, they were terrifying and beautiful and solid. Pain flared in his stomach again, the knife somehow still there, still twisting.

His legs gave in and he sacked to the ground next to Sam's bed. The hunter's face was turned towards him.

This was what he'd been fighting for.

He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"I'll stay," he whispered quietly into the night. "I won't go with them, I promise. I can't let you down Sammy, I don't want to. I'll try to be brave now…"

He was babbling and sobbing and almost reaching out for Sam's hand, before he remembered that he didn't have a physical form anymore. Then he just froze, stopped, and stared at Sam.

With every human heartbeat, Sam seemed further away.

The room was growing darker around Gabriel.

This was it. This was the end for him.

"It's true Sammy, I did it for you. I hope you don't think I'm a coward anymore. And I'm sorry for what I did to you. I just didn't want to see you suffer."

He kept talking, but he could feel his thoughts slipping away as he was speaking, falling into a darkness he had already accepted as a part of himself. The darkness was filling the hole in his stomach, the emptiness in his heart.

He was the darkness.

He caught a last look at Sam.

Then – just darkness.

* * *

_Author's Note_: Hey, look at that, I made myself sad! Anyway, thanks for reading, leave a review to let me know how I did and have a nice day!

_Disclaimer_: Obviously, I don't own Supernatural.


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